How to be a Mentor

A good mentorship transcends jobs, companies, industries, even life's highs and lows. Here are some tips.

In Homer's "The Odyssey," when Odysseus embarks on his voyage home to Ithaca following the Trojan War, he entrusts his son, Telemachus, into the care of his trusted friend whose name is Mentor. The famous character serves as a guide to the young man and helps him hone his values, character and aspirations.

Today, in the business world and beyond, mentors can continue to fulfill this same worthwhile quest.

Since 2021, Mendoza's Business Honors Program has partnered each undergraduate student with an in-person mentor who walks beside them.

BHP Mentoring Program Manager Helen Keefe (MBA '23) recruits, trains and develops approximately 30 mentors for BHP who meet with more than 200 undergraduate students to help them refine a clear vision of the life they want to lead, identify challenges or obstacles to achieving that vision and develop strategies to make progress toward their highest goals.

The following are her tips for becoming an effective mentor.

Have an honest conversation with yourself

Are you really ready to step up? The main reason to become a mentor is to help someone unlock their potential — and that takes time and trust. "Mentoring is not for everyone. Someone who cannot make time for others is not going to be a good mentor," Keefe says.

"A good mentor makes themselves both available and approachable" long-term, Keefe says. A strong relationship can last for years, transcend companies, career pivots and life's highs and lows. "It's about slow growth over time and just focusing on the life project of one person, which is beautiful. Much of business is transactional by nature, but mentoring is not. It's not something you do just to put on your résumé."

Make a pact

Invite mentees to come prepared to your first meeting with questions and ideas about how you can work together. Keefe suggests a best practice is to create a mentoring pact at the end of your first meeting."Everyone comes with a different background and set of challenges. That's why it's important to sit down and talk through what your mentee wants to accomplish in your time together."

Listen more than you speak

Many business leaders often associate the word "mentor" with the notion of sharing best practices with someone just starting out on a similar path to the one they carved out for themselves. Keefe says that's not a mentor's job. "It's actually the mentee who should be the main protagonist in this relationship. The best mentors are the ones who don't do all the talking. Instead, they listen deeply to the other person and ask good questions that help them think about their particular situation in new ways."

Get real

Sometimes, senior leaders can seem intimidating even when they don't intend to come across that way. Keefe says that one way to build trust and become more relatable to your mentee is to share how you handled some of your own setbacks or righted mistakes along the way.

Set the stage

You don't have to sit across an office desk from your mentee. In fact, that kind of seating arrangement can echo the tone of a performance evaluation more than the comfortable conversation you want to have. Be creative with how and when you meet. It might be tempting to convene online, but Keefe suggests avoiding this sterile setup if at all possible. Gen Z folks especially can be reminded of the impersonal Zoom meetings during the pandemic. If your conversations are limited to an office setting, move to an informal seating area to set the tone for opening up.

Try meeting up for a walk or treating your mentee to lunch. If you're having trouble connecting, try choosing a book or article to read together and letting your discussion on it serve as your entry point.

Deepen the bench

"Workplace mentorship programs certainly play a role, but it's also important to be mentored by people outside of your company," Keefe says. In a corporate setting, the interests of the company will by nature take center stage in any relationship. Encourage your mentees to gather input and support from different mentors outside of work who can speak to all aspects of who they are as holistic human beings.

Find out more about the Mendoza Business Honors Program's mentorship program: businesshonorsprogram.nd.edu/mentoring.

Illustration by Davide Bonazzi.